I've started walking home with Senpai
under the pretense of keeping her safe.
But I'm really just walking next to her.
Oh, well.
Senpai, we're here.
We're ba—
The Kawai Complex Guide to Manors and Hostel Behavior
E p i s o d e 5
T h o u g h t S o
When we came back from school...
Stop! Lay off!
Come on, just a little bit...
One of the residents was being assaulted by another near the front door.
You remind me of those guys who say they won't stick it in!
However, it's frightening what a person can get used to,
I thought as I just stood there.
Stop looking enlightened and help me, idiot!
Cut it out, Sayaka-san.
Do that in your room, not next to the front door.
That doesn't help me, Rit-chan!
Oh, shut up...
Whoa, you reek of booze!
The two of you were drinking in the middle of the day?
I haven't done any drinking!
When I came home from work...
I'm back.
Sayaka was waiting right inside the door.
What the hell? That's scary.
I just wanted to give you a "welcome home" hug and kiss.
Sorry, I'm Japanese.
Come on, I told you before, didn't I?
Just one little touch, that's all...
Why are you making it sound like I'm the unreasonable one?!
Just a little.
Slurp
You just tried to use your tongue!
Now, now. Don't be a prude.
And what do you think you're doing by the front door?
Want me to tighten it?
Nice and tight.
Hey! Me next, please!
By Mayumi
By Sumiko
Sorry about that.
You came home in the afternoon and started drinking by yourself?
What happened?
Yesterday, our club went out drinking.
I thought your club disbanded.
It's a new one.
I bet 100 Sayakas that the new one will disband within two months.
Thank you.
What a scary conversation.
Afterwards, we met up with some of the other members' friends, and one was my ex.
Eesh, awkward.
I tried to smile so I wouldn't kill the atmosphere,
but he got the wrong idea and started to hit on me.
And then he forced himself on me.
I took off my shoe and hit him in the crotch with the heel.
I wanted to cleanse my palate with Mayumi-san.
What? I don't get it.
Ex-boyfriends are so creepy!
I thought I was gonna throw up!
Hell, maybe I should have thrown up on him!
You didn't have to go that far...
Men can never seem to forget about their exes.
Even after we're totally over them.
Except you were the one...
...who went running back...
...to the three-timing...
Someone tie me up...
Say what you're thinking out loud!
And one of you was just making a wish!
Weren't you the one who couldn't forget your ex?
No!
I'm not that shameless!
I was just kind of in a dry spell,
so I was looking for some kind of stick.
I think you've forgotten what the word "shameless" means.
Men
Ritsu Mayumi
Sumiko Sayaka
Haven't you heard what they say?
Men keep each relationship saved separately,
Tooru
Tatsuya
Women
while women overwrite old relationships.
Overwrite "Tooru"?
Tatsuya
I'm a classic example of someone who overwrites old relationships!
How many have you overwritten now?
That's the problem with you, Mayumi-san.
Why?!
Because 100% of the guys you've dated
have been jerks.
That's not true!
Okay...
Make that 130%.
It went up...
I'm factoring in future failures.
Cheat
Pickup Lines.txt
When you encounter a guy who's like a virus,
Bait Presents.jpg
you should keep that data separate,
Signs of Cheating.mp4
Scanning
and analyze his tricks and characteristics,
so you can create an anti-virus program.
Virus Detected
You keep falling for the same tricks because
you overwrite your past experiences.
That makes sense.
Don't agree with her!
When an ex calls, she can't recover her data because she destroyed it,
which is why she runs back to him.
Just be quiet!
But you're no better, Rit-chan.
Most people
Sayaka's Temp Folder
You're cute.
will just stuff everything in a folder initially,
Thank you.
Let's go out somewhere.
Sure, with everyone else.
but you have to check over every little thing.
What's the file extension?
Is this a virus?
The data format?
Even with the most casual things,
you force yourself to go through it all,
which makes you tired, so you get annoyed and give up.
Ugh!
In a way, you're a bigger headache than Mayumi-san is.
She knew all that and still gave me that shove in the back?
I love how you're such an easy headache to deal with, Mayumi-san!
Thank you! I hate your guts!
Hey, what about me?
Your hard disk is broken.
So I'm beyond repair.
Unlike Mayumi-san, I don't have any history,
so you shouldn't make assumptions.
But if you apply that example to making friends,
it might be kind of accurate.
If you don't have any history,
that means you have no experience.
Wh-What are you talking about?!
I mean with relationships.
Why are you so flustered?
I'm not. And I was just never interested.
So...
So that's it...
I can hear the "Does it hurt?" and "Don't be scared" coming from his brain.
Expansion of virgin fantasies in progress.
Maybe I'll take your first kiss.
Wait!
Kiss
And it's Usa for the block!
I was just joking!
I just felt something soft on my arm...
I-I'm going back to my room!
Senpai!
They're so innocent, it's disgusting.
grin grin grin
Using the metaphor from before,
you would be a virus, Sayaka-chan.
I'm sorry.
She ran off in such a hurry.
Why do things always go this way?
Usa-kun.
Startled
Is Rit-chan gone?
Sumiko-san...
She looked really mad.
I don't think she was mad.
It feels like I keep screwing up.
Really? I wouldn't say that.
I don't know how close I can get to her...
In that case, I have some advice for you.
Rit-chan doesn't mind being alone,
but she doesn't want to spend all her time alone.
Sh—
She's a real headache, isn't she?
That's what makes her difficult.
She's a headache,
but that's not going to stop me.
Sluuuuurp
Irritated...
You two need to make out or something!
Pfffft
What was that about, Mayumi-chan?
Because, I mean, watching their stupid innocence and youth
flying around all the time is too depressing!
Just get yourself tainted already!
Her ears are bright red...
I'm taking the day off work tomorrow!
I'm back!
It's so hot.
Well? Feel cooler now?
What are you doing?
You're supposed to get all worked up and flushed over
my wet skin and my underwear showing, and then make some comment!
Uh...
I-I see that your bra and panties don't match.
Bonk
Clank
Wh-Why do you have water guns?
Sumiko-san found them when she was cleaning out the shed.
We decided to play with them since it's so hot.
Rit-chan got into it more than I expected.
She's the reason I'm soaked.
You really make me mad!
Rit-chan.
Fantasy ruined! Serves you right!
Senpai! Please don't do it!
That "this isn't too bad" look pisses me off!
I surrender! I surrender!
I surrender I surrender
He's reached a new level of annoying!
Water gun
Water gun!
blub blub blub
No mercy!
Oh, no!
Rit-chan's so lively.
She seems like a totally different person.
Aren't you going to join in, Sayaka-chan?
I don't want to get wet.
She doesn't want to mess up her makeup.
Water gun!
That was a fun...
A horrible experience.
Senpai sure was in high spirits, though.
This is the book that Senpai's been reading.
Ding
Stare...
Sorry for reading your book without asking!
I got kind of curious...
But you aren't really into reading.
That's true,
but I thought even I might enjoy this particular book.
Why?
Well, it seems that you have a tendency to be influenced by books you like.
You've been more cheerful since you started reading this one.
That's why you were so fired up today, right?
Ugh!!
Regretting her behavior after calming down
You always look like you're really enjoying reading it.
I wouldn't be able to handle depressing or complicated books,
but I've been thinking I'd like to try happy ones.
I was just flipping through, and the first part cracked me up.
The scene in the restroom?
Yes! The way he used the bidet was just wrong!
It's unusual when the assistant in a
detective story is the crazy and reckless one.
The detective's pretty normal, except for his cross-dressing.
Really?! No wonder its portrayal of him seemed odd...
Sorry, I'll return it now.
Huh?
I already finished it.
You can borrow it.
Th-Thanks...
She's not mad, is she?
This is rare.
Rit-chan's really in a good mood today.
How far are you?
Which part are you on?
Oh, I'm a slow reader.
I'm still in the middle of the fourth chapter.
Tap
Sorry about that.
I accidentally tapped my knee.
Darn you beautiful legs
Darn you beautiful legs. You're so bad.
Good to know you don't have beriberi or anything.
If you have legs that strong,
they can two-time or three-time you all they want.
I have no idea what that means, but it seriously pissed me off.
You had to go and interrupt me while I was innocently enjoying my reading!
Innocently?
You could just read in your room.
But no, you have to make yourself at home in the common area.
Stupid you and your stupid plan!
Quiet!
That doesn't mean you can kick me!
I won't let you succeed until I'm happy!
Then go find your happiness!
I'm trying, you fool!
Whoa, Rit-chan! You're still here!
Twitch
What?! Why?!
Crap!
Oops!
Usually, she gets bored and leaves!
No reason.
Wow, you blew it there.
You asked why?
You don't get to talk!
But I want to see kids get their dreams shattered,
so please, keep screwing up.
Just stop talking!
I'm so bored.
Anyone have anything interesting to talk about?
Do you have anything to say, Rit-chan?
You can tell us about a book you like.
I'm not good at explaining books,
and even if it's just to kill time,
I really don't want to help Shiro-san.
She fires those shots so casually.
You can just make up a story, then.
That's even harder.
You should be good at making up stories, Shiro-kun.
You used to write novels, right?
Please, you're embarrassing me.
I'm taking time off to recharge now.
Ah, one of those "I'm awesome when I actually try" people.
Wow, check out the scorn in his eyes.
So exciting
Then let's kill time by working together to come up with a story.
This is an order from the manager.
Let's make it tense and exciting!
I've got one!
Not long ago, a girl in my club who was being three-timed pulled a razor blade.
No real-life violence, please.
Let's stick to fantasy!
She ran off to the fantasy world.
We're not talking about choosing fantasy over reality!
Mayumi-chan, do you have anything?
Let's see...
If you're suddenly told that you've been chosen to be
the hero and defeat the Devil King, but you're at a disadvantage...
Oh, sounds good.
Shiro and Usa are the type
who would actually back out if someone said it's braver to give up.
She criticized us in the form of a story setup!
It doesn't matter if it's a cliché story.
"Once upon a time, an old man and an old lady..." or something.
In that case...
Once upon a time,
there was an old man and an old lady.
The old man was standing in the river, shaving with an electric razor.
Bzzz
Dangerous!
I-I get it!
It's one of those water-safe battery-powered types, right?
The old woman was supporting him by holding the extension cord.
Uh-oh! It's the type of old lady who'd cut out a sparrow's tongue!
I guess people who have no luck with men tend to say brutal things—
I can say happy things, too!
Let's see...
The old lady was helping to shampoo the old man's head.
He's about to drop it!
Sayaka, take over.
What? I have to start there?
In Deep Suspense
Get him out of the river!
Hurry!
Hmm... Then, from upstream,
a giant Shiro-san...
In the flesh?!
Shiro-san's fate is in the hands of the old man!
...floated down the river all creepy and disgusting-like.
Creepy and Disgusting-like
shiver shiver
pant pant
A description surging with hostility!
And how deep is the river if a
giant Shiro-san can actually float on it?
Is the old man treading water?
I can't think of any more, so it's your turn.
The giant Shiro came floating down the river
all creepy and disgusting-like.
You didn't change that part.
He came floating up...
and went on floating by.
Stop him!
Fine, then, out of mercy...
Shiro-san was tied up like a roast pig so he couldn't move
and forcibly taken home.
Hi! I'm a pig!
There was an axe that hadn't been used in years.
It must have a dull edge.
Scrape
They used the axe to skin Shiro-san...
Ouch!
But I'm kinda jealous!
Rit-chan, you must be reading a book on cooking.
Then Usa-kun popped out from inside him!
The old lady was thrilled.
That's no fair, Usa-kun!
The old man was just as thrilled.
And the three of them lived happily ever after.
There's a big gap between the image and the wording!
How about this one, then?
Prize
Our battle has only just begun (The End)
This is the situation everyone wants to be in where other people fight over you.
I don't see much of a difference between the two.
That was certainly exciting.
And they lived happily ever after.
Don't end it there!
We went through a lot of drama, huh?
Now I'm exhausted for nothing.
I was short on sleep to begin with.
It's interesting how everyone has different opinions.
It's fun to talk to people about stuff.
I think I may be in the mood to do some writing again.
Let us read it when you're finished.
Absolutely!
I don't need to.
Absolutely! What?
So tired...
You were up late reading last night.
I thought you were engaging in the customary ritual,
as dictated by raging pathos, for leading a billion
of your brethren to heaven.
Don't call that "customary"!
I'll admit that I never did much reading before,
but this book is easy to understand and lots of fun.
Isn't that right, Senpai?
The elevator scene was good...
That was hilarious!
The bunny-hopping was so wrong!
Th-There was the struggle on the roof, too.
That was also hilarious!
The dialog was very witty.
Formation of Team Shatter Dreams
Their personalities are intense!
Disbanded
It's always fun to talk about
the things you love.
Oh, but chapter three was the first time someone died.
It got really serious after that.
Oh... Yeah.
I lost interest after that.
That made it more interesting.
I thought it gave the story more substance.
It felt like a shortcut, considering
how all the other serious parts also had some humor.
Ah, you're definitely an experienced reader.
Oh, but the scene with the key
was good.
Made no sense at all.
I liked that character.
I didn't like that character.
So that's one way to look at it.
Wh-What?
I was doing okay at the beginning.
Will she think we're not compatible now?
And while he's worrying away,
he misses the look on her face. Classic Usa.
That's youth for you.
Next Episode Preview
There's this grade school girl who's been coming to see Shiro-san.
Oh, you mean Chinatsu-chan?
She's adorable.
I'm pretty sure you're going to get arrested.
Didn't you know?
My mind's full of dirty thoughts, but I'm too focused on high school girls
who've just turned eighteen to think about grade school girls!
You need to stay away from grade schoolers if you're full of dirty thoughts!
But girls her age can be aggressive, so you never know.
She can get with Usa!
I guess that's still a crime.
At least I know to wait until she's grown up!
That means you'll be a virgin for ten more years?
E p i s o d e 6
C o u l d I t B e ?
Er, that's not what I meant...
Good luck.
Don't cheer me on!